TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
