physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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