I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize