and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
