You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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