That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
