I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
