I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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