I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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