So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
