They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
