Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
