yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
