YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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