She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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