I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've blown a few things in my day
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize