His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i think im in europe. pls send help
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