Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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