i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
