why didn't you poke me back
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
