i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
