Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
