Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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