shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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