I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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