She announced her abortion via fbk
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
