I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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