She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
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His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
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He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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