she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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