so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize