...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
