Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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