Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize