she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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