What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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