Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
