i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
