I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
