then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
