so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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