A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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