Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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