what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
