I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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