you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
