So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
this just has baby written all over it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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