Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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