I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How external is "for external use only"?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
