i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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