My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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