i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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