I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
