my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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