Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize