I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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