Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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