Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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