I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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